What Does Success Really Mean to You? – Part Two
In Part One of this blog entry, we examined what it is that defines success for you. In part two, we will look at some more characterisation of that abstract quality and try to help you find better meaning to the work you do each day.
The reason the nature of success is so theoretical is that it is different for each and every one of us and is predicated on our own life experiences, usually our formative ones. Whether we like it or not, our surrounding culture is going to create a lot of expectations for us. When we filter that culture through the prism of a family and how we grew up, where we grew up, and the peer group we grew up around, it is going to have almost a hypnotic effect on what people think they ought to be pursuing. With our media and celebrity-heavy culture, it is very, very common to see people unconsciously adopt a frame of reference that if they are not famous, they are not successful. If they are not wealthy, they are not successful. Living in that kind of bubble, you need to gain a little perspective. This means looking at the sources of those early messages that you may have internalised. So instead of fame, maybe try to start thinking about gaining respect – earning it from people you know and who know you, as opposed to getting recognition from people you do not know. The minute you stop worrying about what other people think you are achieving and focus more upon what is truly meaningful to you, the mists will clear.
We do not have to work ourselves to death in order to be successful. Really, this is the direct opposite of success. When we get caught up in all the ‘have to’s’ and ‘need to do’s’, we lose focus on the bigger picture. Success is more about the journey and less about the destination. When life is no longer enjoyable, it is time to assess the path we are on and what direction to take. One of the most important things to realise is that success is not the result of working all the hours under the sun. Just because you are the first in the office and the last out does not equate to any achievement in and of itself. The idea of working ourselves to death is not a myth. The word Karōshi is a Japanese term meaning ‘death by overwork.’ When we are unable to let go of occupational stress, we can literally kill ourselves from exhaustion. Do not be so frantic to amass your wealth and success. Enjoy the moment. There is really nothing to worry about that you cannot handle. Be mindful, and do not take your work with you everywhere you go. Switch off – not just your laptop and phone, but your work-brain. Your family and friends will be much happier that you are present, and you will be reminded that success comes in different shapes – valuable family and friend time being one of them.
In fact, the truth is, you do not really need anything to be happy. The ultimate myth about happiness is believing you should place your happiness in things beyond yourself. People believe that happiness will come along when they get a new car, a new job, or a new relationship. But in the end, these external sources of happiness are fleeting. You are responsible for your happiness. You do not ‘feel your circumstances,’ you ‘feel your thinking’. So, let yourself experience happiness by thinking differently about life.
Succinctly put, success for you is what you want it to be. But if you get caught up in the trappings of ‘stuff’, you are very likely to end up unhappy, burnt out, and depressed. When you see it written in black and white, it kind of makes perfect sense. If you can cut through all that and pursue the notion of loftier ideals that still tick the practical boxes, then you are on the right path. The real acid test is whether you have the courage to see this ideology through. If you can, you will have all the success you actually need.
