What Are the Factors Holding You Back?
We all need positive approbation. A simple “well done!” every now and again does wonders for our confidence. There IS also the sneaky feeling that that pat on the back is so meaningful because you are plagued with self-doubt. You may project confidence, but underneath that self-assured veneer, you’re certain that any day now, someone will find out that you ARE not actually cut out for your job, that you only got where you are because you’re lucky. You are worried that you’ll stumble and reveal how supremely untalented you really are. This kind of chronic self-doubt, while unfortunately common, may prevent you from taking on worthwhile challenges and realising your potential. With that in mind, we will look at some fears that might be holding you back in the workplace and how to overcome them.
The fear of uncertainty often prevents people from trying something different. They often worry, “What if I don’t like it?” This fear can prevent people from trying new things or doing things differently from the way they’ve always been done.
We live in a rapidly changing world. However, many people fear change. As a result, they resist it. The fear of change can cause people to become stagnant, and they may miss out on a lot of really good opportunities in life.
One of the top fears many people share is that they are just not good enough. They may pass up opportunities for a promotion or may decline an opportunity to lead a group because they worry that they’re inadequate. Often, they overcompensate for their fears by trying to be a perfectionist but remain plagued by thoughts that they just don’t measure up to other people.
But even if you are not feeling totally sure of yourself and your abilities, it’s important you present yourself otherwise. That means shifting your body language to portray confidence. So, while you may be so nervous before your big interview or promotion meeting that you want to curl into a ball, resist the temptation to cower or make yourself smaller, and walk in with your head held high.
The best news is, this shift in body language can not only trick others into believing your confidence, but it can change how you perceive yourself as well. Simply tweaking the way we carry ourselves can significantly change the way our lives unfold. Studies have shown that just by power posing for just two minutes, people were able to raise hormones associated with leadership and perform significantly better in high-stress interviews meetings, meaning it’s possible to use powerful body language to actually feel more confident.
This really works for many people. But if that sounds too much like the 1970s “Power of Positive Thinking” stuff for you, and you just can’t “think yourself confident”. There’s another, more pragmatic technique. A helpful exercise is to write your negative thoughts about yourself down in the third person — as “you” statements, so you can start to separate them from a more realistic compassionate point of view toward yourself, where you are taking your own side. After you’ve done so, write down a response to each of these comments that is more realistic and compassionate toward yourself. Make sure to write these as “I” statements, as they represent a more appropriate caring attitude toward yourself. For example, you might write: “I am capable of doing a good job. There are real reasons for a company to want to hire me. I would be an asset to a team. I work hard and learn fast. There is nothing wrong with having ambition.” This will give you the necessary distance from your perceived shortcomings and give you the much-needed perspective that will free you from the restraints you’ve put on yourself for so long.
Our fears of failure can limit us and keep us from living the life we want to. When we inevitably experience rejection or disappointment, we have to be hardy in our way of reacting to these setbacks. Overcoming your critical inner voice can be a vital step in becoming more emotionally resilient. We can learn skills to become hardier, and we can face challenges with fewer internal setbacks. Yet, the first step in taking on this new confidence is shedding the baggage of our past, the critical inner voices that falsely feed our fears of failure. Ultimately, the only thing holding you back is you, and therefore you hold the key to your own success in far more ways than you can possibly imagine.
